6 pillars of self-esteem

1. Living Consciously
2. Self-Acceptance
3. Self-Responsibility
4. Self-Assertiveness
5. Living Purposefully
6. Personal Integrity
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1. Living Consciously: Respect for facts; being present to what we are doing while we are doing it; seeking and being eagerly open to any information, knowledge, or feedback that bears on our interests, values, goals, and projects; seeking to understand not only the world external to self but also our inner world as well, so that we do not act out of self-blindness.

2. Self-acceptance: The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning -- and also without self-repudiation; giving oneself permission to think one's thoughts, experience one's emotions, and look at one's actions without necessarily liking, endorsing or condoning them. If we are self-accepting, we do not experience ourselves as always "on trial," and what this leads to is non-defensiveness and willingness to hear critical feedback or different ideas without becoming hostile and adversarial.

3. Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the authors of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for our life and well-being and for the attainment of our goals; that if we need the cooperation of other people to achieve our goals, we must offer values in exchange; and that the question is not "Who's to blame?" but always "What needs to be done?"

4. Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid someone's disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate circumstances.

5. Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them, organizing behavior in the service of those goals, monitoring action to be sure we stay on track -- and paying attention to outcome so as to recognize if and when we need to go back to the drawing-board.

6. Personal integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we professes to admire; dealing with others fairly and benevolently.

Yours in fulfillment

Sifu Lee
www.martialartsmaidstone.com